If only I knew

If only I knew where to begin,
this never ending walk in time,
Where every step is a crossroad,
It may be belligerent,
It may be benign.

If only I knew the next step to take,
On this gravel path,
Stony yet serene,
With every step I make a mistake,
Unlearn some tradition, for your sake.

If only I knew how to reach out,
The pain I feel behind all the shout,
I want your little hands
To touch my heart,
And feel my love cry,
Every time I am harsh.

If only I knew by some power divine,
How to be right for you with passing time,
Some day you will know,
Through your eyes my tears flow,
With every smile of yours,
My eyes glow.

If only I knew how to manage my crazy world,
Some ancient secret of motherhood
I could unearth,
Save you from every pain,
Hold your soul like a petal
Never let your heart break.

If only I knew how to make things right,
Undo every mistake and heal your plight.
Stand up for you,
Hold you through time,
Kill my self a thousand times
For your eyes that cried.